Why can't you do right?

Years upon years of trying to prove to people you aren't a fucking idiot and yet you seem to pull off quite the opposite. Who are you? Where has that person we all knew and loved gone to? Why is it hard to just fucking do right by you and you alone? Where is this sadness you speak of that keeps you from being a decent human being? Night after night send your family into a coma if I don't care then what does it matter anymore when they don't listen? Day after day the anger appears in your head yet you know the consequences of your actions. Where does it end? Who is going to look after you when you have beaten yourself up so much that you can't take care? After you set fire to the bridges burning the help wanted sign as a reminder you may need a spark of hope aftermath the only salvation is the bodies left in your wake which aren't talking to anyone much less the dead. No one said this would be easy or there would be help along the way, it's hard work. Get your ass off your shoulders and become the person you want to be. If that person is a drug dealing, car jacking, bitch slapping, disrespectful baby momma having bastard then be that, however, we all know that is not your forte.
  As a child, did it ever occur to you a stereotype would hang it's glorious flag round your neck and choke the life out of all that held possible. . .no is the answer. What did you want to be? Who were you immolating at that time? What kept you from being all that you could and then some? I bet you would say that it's the fucking man that kept you from becoming what you've always wanted to be that isn't true and you know it. You would probably say that it was how you grew up but that's not true either. That fact is you chose to be an asshole and treat people with all the hate in your heart and disrespect you could muster while giving the rest who could have had an iota of hope the finger going 50mph. Who the hell are you, really? What do you think you deserve in this life you have contributed nothing but another person which any person, asshole, human can do and well if they put forth effort, unlike yourself. What will it take for you to wrap around that thick skull of yours, normalcy?  Parents given up, siblings could care less and the lowlifes circle the drain for your leftovers, how convenient. Almost died, beaten up, left for dead, broke, loveless, alone yet still alive and that isn't enough for you to make good on the simplest promise to a women who gave you everything; oh yeah, your Mother. What would she say about your behavior? You think she would be proud of her son who does with life what humans do to a commode?
  When you are in the worst shape of your life and the universe sends slow pictures of your life from beginning to present are those tears for your old self or is it for the good you could have done and didn't? That feeling you get in then pit of your stomach sending all messages to the hypothalamus," it's time", will you really listen? The rest of the class is doubtful but someone, somewhere is on your side, even if you aren't, rooting for the best.. .it's you. Always has been.

Are you kidding?!

Honestly?
  You think that pumping everyone full of information about a man that no longer has sexual ties with you will keep you closer to him or what he does with his time without you? The fact that you have lost is so apparent that you can't resume your same self without validating who you use to be through arguments and anxiety.
  Shame you couldn't just be yourself and figure out that you have value and people adore your true self as is. There was a period before all the ridiculous insecurities and control issues that brought up shame of self and doubt , you were a cool individual and now its' just fucking sad to see you fall down the rabbit whole naked and scared with no one to blame for the new events but yourself for perpetuating stupidity upon yourself. There was a time when, I remember when you use to, it was a great night last summer when you, and now it's just stupid acts of so-called love and grief played out in public with everyone involved. NO ONE FUCKING CARES! This small time in your life sucks and we get that what we don't get is that you can't move on and be the strong women you use to be. I don't believe you are that beaten or broken that recovery is not within your grasps. It's time to put childish things aside like an adult. Admit this sucked and you lost only to move on to a more healthier place and time for you and yours because this act is beneath you and anyone who has to endure the drama.

Blah, Blah, Blah

Complain, complain, complain all you want. Send the food back from the kitchen, tell your boyfriend how he fucks up, get even with your unhealthy relationship with your boss while he still continues to fuck his wife of three years and still hasn't told her that he knows about her affair since they got married whilst telling her he's leaving her for his true love like he promised.
  Tell me all about your sorry excuse for a car broke which down for the 50th time while you were on your way to an interview that you knew would not be the end all be all but it paid the bills. I am here to listen to all your rants and raves that concern no one but you and you alone can make a difference to this world by blogging all your hate and disappointments of your entire life.

                                                    I am here for you. . . .spill it!